What Katie Did Next

My train gets in to Chicago 3 hours late but I’ve still got plenty of time to make it to Jerry Springer so I hot foot it to the hostel to get changed and grab a shower before taking a walk to the NBC building where The Jerry Springer Show is filmed. I decide on walking to get a feel for the city and the first thing i noticed about Chicago was how many ginger haired people where walking about. Could be the place where Gingers can live in peace and Harmony with the rest of the world? Is this the place where people don’t call them carrot top or ginger minger? I’m just kidding, i love gingers!!! Anyway the point is I’ve never seen so many in one place. Walking to NBC Chicago and I’m met by the queue for Jerry Springer outside the building. In the queue in front of me is some very loud and funny Americans, shall we say older generation people as i don’t want to offend anyone (says the guy who has just ripped the gingers of the world), anyway more about them later.

After bag checks and another hour of waiting we enter the studio, its much smaller than it looks on TV and the set has changed since the last time i watched it. Playing on the plasma screens are clips from Jerry’s ‘uncut and xxx rated DVD’ which kinda is scaring me. The clips show loads of fat naked people, fighting, chair throwing and…… midgets. And you know how much midgets scare me, its the hands!!!
One of stage crew leads me over to my seat which is in the second row from the front of the stage. Great, I’m right in the way of chair throwing. After everyone gets comfortable and waits for the show to start. Jerry pops out starts telling jokes, the calibre of jokes is to be desired, you can tell he has been reading unfunny email forwards that his mates have obviously sent him during the week. One he told us went like this
“I don’t like using cocaine, I only love how it smells” brilliant or what? Anyway he is showing his ages but it does look like he has been under his knife as his skin looks a bit tight.

As Jerry goes off the stage to get ready for the start of the show we all wait in silence until the stage manager counts down from five. When he gets to one we get up off our arses and start chanting……. yep, you guessed it…… JERRY, JERRY and waving our arms in the air, at this point the camera man brings the camera right up to my face and I start getting in to the chanting looking right down the camera ‘JERRY, JERRY’, Yes I feel like an America!!
Jerry comes on to the stage by sliding down a fireman pole, (That never used to happen) to be greeted by two off the new sexy security guards that are now on the show. By the way if you ever watched it in the 90s, early 2000s and remember the guard call Steve, he now has his own talk show filmed in the same building. Watch out Jerry there is a new boy in town.
We are still going wild as he comes round and shakes our hands but I miss out this time, damn you spotty kid next to me who gets a shake from The Springer. As this is all happening they quietly bring the first guess out and sit her down in the centre of the stage. A small skinny girl with a bob hair cut, wearing a pink strappy top and black trousers. We all sit down and Jerry Launches in to the show ‘Who are you? and why are you here’
Girl ‘Hiiiii Jerry my name is (I can’t remember) and I’m a whore’ As she stands up and lifts up up her top to show us her boobs!! The crowd pipes up “JERRY, JERRY” and then we sit back down giggling.
“Jerry I’m here to tell my b/f I don’t want to be with him and want to be with another man but he is married”
Crowd “OOOOOOOOO”
Jerry brings out the wife out on to the stage, A huge fat back women who launches at the other girl ripping a chunk of her hair out. (Shit I’ve got another 45mins of this). After lots of swearing, bitch, whore, ho they bring the two guys out who start kicking the shit out of each and one of them rips his shirt. At this point the the floor manager starts a chant ‘take your shirt off, take your shirt off’ Then the two semi naked guys go at it, chairs thrown as they both lock on each other like pit bulls fighting, security steps in and breaks the pair up to revel one of the guys is ‘flying low’ and his winky is hanging out *Sam shakes head* the floor manager pipes up again, ‘Show us your what you got, Show us what you got’ as the guy pulls down his trousers and spins round and shows us his boxer short only to show us sweaty skid marks. I kid you not!!! The best thing was the whole audience simultaneously went ewwwww! After more fighting and Jerry giving ‘advice’ they where lead off the stage. Is this some weird dream? Am I really still in NY asleep or drunk? Have someone spiked my drink? because this surely can’t be real.

The next guests to come out was kinda of the same thing, Two Trailer Park Trash girls fighting over a man (Who works making fans LOL) This time we find out the girl who is stealing the other girls mans has sent saucy photo texts of her boobs, again the floor manager shout out a new chant for us ‘Show us the message, Show us the message’ Then one sight I will never get out of my mind as its burnt in to my head forever this massive black women pulls down her top to show us her boobs that are nearly touching the floor. Just as she is gathering them up and tucking them back in to her top the other girl runs at her and smacks her around the head and they both fall on the floor pulling each others hair out as the boobs are swinging around stage nearly taking out the audience. Oh why do i have to be near the front. As all this is going on there is a man walking around the stage who is Jerry’s right hand man….. I call him his right hand man as he has no body up to his chest and just walks around on his hands handing cards to Jerry which the producer has written on them. Most of the time it was just to wind the guests up even more. It really is like a modern day freak show……. If they are actors they are doing a good job cos they fooled me.

The most shocking and funnest part of the show was the end when the audience could ask the guests questions and just rip them. If a member of the audience asked a dull or boring question we were aloud to shout and point at them ‘GO TO OPERA, GO TO OPERA’ which i thought was very funny. The audience can also win ‘Jerry Beads’, to win them the girls have to flash there boobs at the cameras and I was surprised how many of them did and even a guy (I would say late 40s) got his hairy arse out. Utter madness. As Jerry finishes his final thought the show closes and he walks around shaking hand and yes he shock my hand, for some reason I bowed at him as he shook mine. Still i got to touch the hand of the trash king.

After the show I was walking to the ATM when I was kidnapped by the party of old Americans and the Aussie girl called Ange who turned out to be staying at my hostel and had been working in London for the past year. The evening was hilarious as we went to a bar where a very cute waitress (looked like Lindsey lohan) was paid to take the piss out of us and make us wear silly hats.

No, they are not members of the KKK

Then to top this very random day off I had this video link waiting for me in my inbox from Katie. I’m sure she is trying to mess with my mind LOL.

Now I know I’m dreaming, Today has been the most random day so far on my trip. Forget shark diving, forget living with Mongolian nomads just come to Chicago. I need sleep!

Day 2 and Ange and I went sigh seeing around the city,

First up was the Sears Tower which is the tallest building in the US now. Its cool, but the view is nowhere as good as the view from the Empire State Building.

Then we headed to Millennium Park which is just a wonderful place to hang and chill. It has some great art and architecture around the park including ‘The Bean’ The Cloud Gate and Jay Pritzker Pavilion designed by Frank Gehry. Very cool.

In the evening we headed in to the northern suburbs to a Jazz bar where Al Capone used to hang out, it was great, not tacky and no tourists. Just people well up for a bit of live jazz. I didn’t catch the name of the band who playing but they were very good indeed, had a really french sound to it. Great night and had to be done when visiting Chicago.

The next two days was spent getting back in to Street Photography as I hadn’t been doing much since splitting up with Ellie, i guess as we always went out every weekend to take photos in London it bought back to many memories. But as I said, 2 days of pure photography but only to find out in Denver (where I am now) that 1. The labs machine broke destroying one film 2. Two films came out blank which is a tad scary as I hope my Leica isn’t playing up. I will do a test roll and fingers crossed It was just the films. So After all that work I have five not very interesting shots of Chicago. Ho Hum!

I had some great news on Wednesday when I was in Chicago, Katie emailed me and said that she was coming to town on Saturday as the company she works for The World Trade Center Memorial and Museum was throwing a fund raising party in Chicago and asked if I wanted to go. I said in my last blog that I wasn’t as moved as I thought I was going to be when I visited the site of the World Trade Center. But at this party listening and meeting survivor and relatives of love ones who was lost in September 11th hit me pretty hard. $60 well spent in my mind.
If you could all take a minute and visit the site HERE and have a look what Katie is doing around the US that would be grand. You can also check out what is going in place of the World Trade Center which is a rather moving piece of architecture.
At the party I also had the great pleasure of meeting two of Katie’s crazy mates. Claire and Mya (I think that’s how you spell her name) and got rather trashed with them. Hurrah I’m drunk again, seems to be a theme on this US part of the trip so far.

Again, It was sad to see Katie go again but something tells me it won’t be the last time I see my NYC friend. :-)

Here is the Chicago List
1. Check out the amazing ‘Bean’ its the coolest bit of art i’ve seen in a long time.
2. Try a Chicago Hot Dog, they put just about everything on them. Apparently they are very famous.
3. Green Mill Jazz Club. Sleazy and Smokey. Loved it
4. Springer, enough said.
5. Go to the Museum of Contemporary Art, it has to be the best gallery i’ve been to in a long time. Really worth a visit if you are in town.

I love Chicago, its such an interesting city. Loads to do and with some great history. Worth a visit in my books.

Next stop Denver. 16 hours on a train…. How I do love my trains!