10 days out in the Mongolian countryside, this time I’m heading north west to the Russian boarder and to Mongolia’s deepest lake called Lake Khuvsgul home to the Tsaatan….. The Reindeer people. Once at the lake I shall be doing a 4 day horse trek north along the edge of the lake.

So this time I was in a smaller group, One girl from Manchester (Seems to be a fair few Manc’s in Mongolia) and a Canadian girl who enjoyed speaking about politics. This was fine because if I couldn’t get to sleep then I’d just tune in to her for a few minutes and it would be lights out for Random Sam.

So we set off, first stop was a monastery called Amarbayasgalant where we would be staying with a local family for the night. The monastery is in the middle of nowhere, a few Gers and wooden shacks dotted around but that’s about it. Its a rather tranquil place set in a valley with mountains towering around it. I can see why they chose to build it there, its a very peaceful place indeed.

The next day was an 11 hour drive (only 300km, that’s how bad the roads are) to our drivers family. Once we arrived there we made are way in to the Ger where we were given fomented horse milk (see a couple of blogs ago) and as it was Sunday night the family invited us to watch Sumo. So we pop in to their Ger and low and behold a black and white TV rigged up to a satellite receiver that was running off two car batteries that was getting charged by solar panels and a wind turbine. All very high tech!
Sumo is a big sport in Mongolia this is in part because the number 1 world champion is a Mongolian. When that fat bastard came out and won his battle everyone in the Ger went nuts. None more so than the 91 year old grandma who was shouting at the TV. She looked like she was woman prosiest, she wanted blood.

We said our good byes to the family and headed on to the lake were we would be driving in our Russian Mini van for the next 14 hours. The tracks got worse and worse and to make matters worse our van couldn’t get up hills as it had a few problems including broken fuel pump and a overheating issue. On top of most hills we had to stop and let the engine cool down, this gave us time to walk around the pray flags that had been placed along the route to wish us a safe journey. I made a point of walking around all of them just to hope this would be enough to get us to the lake on time.

Bang on time we made it to the village by the mouth of the lake. Its the number I tourist destination for Mongolians. I’m no way saying its like Brits down the Costa Del Sol in fact there is only a few guest house in the area and they are full of travellers.

An early night for a Early start, today I get to meet my horse that will be carrying my fat arse around for the next few days. He looks much like all the other horses in Mongolia but I’m sure he had smaller legs that the others so I named him stumpy!

This time I knew how to control my stumpy. after 3 hours on a horse I knew what I was doing (yeah right) I thought in my head I was a Mongolian cowboy until we met our 17 year old guides that made there horses seem to glide on air. It is quite a sight to see how they handle their horses.

So the first day was spent riding through the mountains and valleys just to reach the lake. 4 hours in to the ride was our first break and fuck me my legs needed it. We stopped at a very unusual Ger, It looked just like a wig-wam. This was the first type of Ger’s the Mongolians used but is stilled used by the Reindeer people. No they are not half human half reindeer, though that would be rather cool. In fact they heard reindeer for a living. After drinking some reindeer tea and swapping gifts, I gave the kids some candy and they gave us a neck-less made out of reindeer skin, lovely!

Getting back on Stumpy we made it down to the lake when the heavens opened and it started to piss down. luckily we were close to a ger were a family welcomed us in and gave us food. The Mongolia generosity is unfounded, still I was yet to see what was going to be dished out to us. The grandma bent down between my legs (stop thinking that you dirty bastards) and pulled out from under my seat a large ice cream tub full of meat and bones. I was the lucky one who she sat next too as she began to chop up the parts and feed them to me. I think it was a goat but I’m not to sure! First the stomach lining then the liver and kidneys then finally a sausage looking part sliced up, yep you guess it BBQ cold cock. mmm!

After the rain had stopped it was time to jump on Stumpy for a short walk along the lake to the another family we would be staying with that night. They couldn’t have chose a better location to place there Ger’s, right on the edge of the lake. What a view when you open the door of Ger at sunrise.

The lake its self is the smaller sister to Lake Baikal so looks very similar just on a smaller scale, very clear blue fresh water with mountain leading all the way up to the Russian boarder 272km away. Again being a British bulldog or just plan silly I had test the water to the delight of my host family who watched a hunk of a whale scream and shout as the cold water attacks his legs like daggers. What makes matters worse is that unlike Baikal the lake floor is made up of stones. So not only was I screaming like a girl I was walking like a spacker!

Day 2 at the lake and Cowboy Smith is back in the saddle for another long trek. tonight we will be camping but first we must ride 20km to a suitable place to camp. On the way we saw a flurry of activate outside a reindeer herders Ger. Inside was a Shaman (Not Mr C, Shotman). Before we could meet her we had to wait in the ‘Waiting Room’ Ger and had more Reindeer tea. After 5 minutes of waiting it was our turn to go and see her. There she was the Mongolian Dot Cotton. A Fag hanging out of her mouth with the ash still hanging on the end, A Dot Cotton style head garment and surround by men and gifts being mostly Vodka, Beer and Fags (I like this ladys style. A shaman can see in to the future as well as look back at the past. She also has the power to heal the sick….. A lot like Trisha off Five TV. After many questions that she kindly answered I was back on good old stumpy and we were off to find a good camping spot. After about 6km more we set up camp in a forest next to the lake. After dinner we started a fire the traditional Mongolian way and that is to uproot as many trees and make the fire as big as fucking possible. The girls crashed out early and it was left to us boys to chew the fat under the clearest nights sky I had seen since South Africa, I miss SA and a certain girl there but more on that in a future blog.

Day 3 and we start the long ride back to the village, during the night our Golden Gobi guide caught the flu, now if he didn’t sleep outside in the cold without a sleeping bag then maybe, just maybe he wouldn’t of been sick. Any how on the way back we were going to stop at the previous families Ger for the night. As I’m a fully trained horse rider now Rose and I decided to see if we could make our horses gallop…. And they did, a horse, running, with Random Sam on the back! quite an unbelievable sight! You certain cover some ground fast when these animals run.
When the rest of the slow cowboys arrived at the ger the guide went straight to bed. He beckoned me over like he was on his last legs and I kid you not he said to me ‘Sam, ‘cough cough’ I need Mongolian medication’ I was thinking oh god am I gonna have kill a Yak and make him drinks Its blood. No, It was half a glass of Vodka with pepper on top and this is coming from the man who earlier in the week said he never touched a drop. After making a speech he downed the drink and went straight in to a deep sleep where he was shouting and speaking in his sleep for hours. I couldn’t quite believe my eyes the next day. There he was his normal, happy, cheerful self cooking us breakfast. Quite unbelievable, was this the same guy who was chucking up his guts the day before?

A spooky thing happened that morning, Sitting outside the Ger eating my breakfast when 3 horses rode up to our Ger. 1 local Mongolian and 2 very sweet French girls. We got chatting as you do, and asked the generic backpacker questions, Where are from? Where are you going? What you do for a job ‘Oh, I’m a TV listing writer for Red Bee Media’. Now, what is the chances of not just going to Mongolia, but going to a remote part of Mongolia and bumping in to someone from the same workplace. I bet Andrew and Nick sent her to spy on me!

We took a different route back to the village, this time next to the lake. On they way back Stumpy wasn’t being his normal self and kicked me off. Luckily I fell off on my backpack so no really problem, I just looked very silly.
The way back I we travelled right next to cliff edges (which got me a bit nervous after my fall) and through forests until we finally reached the village 6 hours later. I’m quite glad we were back as I’m not sure how much more my knees could take.

After a good nights sleep we packed our bags and said good bye to our guides and we were on our way back to UB.

The way back seemed longer. we stayed over at our drivers family once again. Again it was a Sunday so again more Sumo. After Sumo dinner, only the thing is we had to catch it and kill it. Mr sheep was a goner. They showed us how they kill it, by slicing open its belly and crushing its heart. He was dead in under 10 seconds and in 15 minutes he was skinned, cooking away in the pot for dinner. He did taste very good!

Last day I felt awful, I think I caught a cold from sleeping on the floor of the Ger so the drive back was hellish! 14 hours later and I’m back in UB asleep in my bed. Only 4 days left in Mongolia so my time was spent writing blogs, emails, eating really good curry and watching movies. I watched the new Transformers movie, it was so bad it was one of the best movies I have ever seen. If it doesn’t win an Oscar then there is no justice in the world.

I did promise myself that I would make it to a Mongolian night club and I’m so glad I did. Still not feeling 100% I wasn’t drinking but I’m still glad I made the effort go. It started out as a ‘normal’ club but at the stroke of midnight the place just got very strange indeed. They cleared the dance floor and 12 Mongolian ladies came out with….. well nothing on and did some bad Pam’s people dancing for a while. After them it was time for the ladies as a masked man came out in a man thong and jigged about for a while. When the heart throb finished playing with his bits another guy came out and started swallowing knifes and swords, laying on glass and a bed of nails. Basically he was a double hard bastard. What a crazy place, if you go to Mongolia you must check out the clubs. Best £1 I’ve spent.

Well its time to say good bye to one amazing country and the warm hospitable people that really make this place special. I wish I had more time, could have spent months in the clubs, errrr I mean countryside.

Mongolia, probably the best country in the world?

I think so!

Next stop China!

Now, I’m not saying I’m going to dump Ellie, quit Red Bee and shave my thick wire wool hair off to become a monk but if I had to choose a religion to follow it would be Buddhism. I kinda like the idea of it. This got me thinking about the pros and cons about religion. If I became a Mormon I could have multi wives, WOW religion is really good after all, but then I would have to give all my money away to the church. BOO!
I don’t think I could be a good Muslim as I can’t grow a beard pass two weeks before shaving it off. But then I would have a great name like Mohammad Smith. I could even start my own religion (cult). I could get all my friends from Face Book to join. Praise the lord Smith! Its amazing the crap you think about on a 24 hour train journey to China Isn’t it?

So where was I? oh yes, So after I had found myself at the temple I did some site seeing around the city. There isn’t much to see in UB, just a Soviet style square with Mongolia’s grand parliament building in the centre of it. There is rather an impressive statue of Chinggis Khaan that looms over everything in the square. A Leni statue once stood there but once the iron curtain fell so did the statue.

The next day was Naadam, having no clue what was going on we opted for a tour with the hostel. After breakfast the coaches drove us down the stadium park, it was no Olympic park I can tell you. We headed to the stadium to watch the opening ceremony. I don’t know why but in my head I thought the ceremony would be as grand as the Olympics, how wrong I was! It was more like the Colchester Carnival with people dressed up in all manner of traditional costumes even Miss Mongolia and Miss tourist board 2007 were there waving there hearts out to the crowd. It must be every young Mongolians dream to be crowned Miss Tourist Board. The final part of the the ceremony we were delighted to a one off performance from Mongolia’s number one pop act. I’m not sure of the artists name but it was more ‘X factor/Rock Rap’ with the singer dressed in a top hat and leather trousers. I was having flash backs to the Russian concert I attended in Ulan Ude.

So on with the games, there are four ‘manly’ games (no I didn’t make that up, it what it says on the ticket) These are wrestling which is the main sport of Mongolia. Horse riding where 5 to 11 year olds compete in a 32km cross country race. Archery which women can compete in now ‘ain’t so manly games now’ and a great game called Ankle bone flicking which looked so cool but I had not got a clue what was going on. I would look the rules up on wikipedia but now I’m in China now and they have blocked so many websites its unreal. This is why i can’t upload anymore photos to Flickr.
After a good few hours watching the games it was time to head over to watch the horse racing which is held about 40km outside UB.
Bad idea! Everyone in UB had the same idea to attend the horse racing so the road was jammed solid! 1 hour later and still stuck in the jam the driver had the brilliant idea of mounting the central reservation and hoping on to the other side of the road which was clear…….. except for the bikes, cars, trucks and horse and carts coming the other way! but that didn’t stop our fearless driver from playing chicken with the on coming traffic, still this crazy move got us just in time for the horse race. When we finally got to the track which was basically a huge piece of land that stretch as far as the eye could see. I was thinking it was going to be like Ascot or something, I’m not sure why i had that in my head but this was no ladies day at the races that for sure. It looked liked the whole of UB had turned out for this race. It really looked like everyone preparing for a battle gazing out in to the distance looking for the army of horses that was charging our way. Suddenly in the very, very distance you could make out a dust cloud which was getting bigger and bigger. About another 15 minutes later the horses with there young riders passed us in a cloud of dust, with a massive cheer and applauds from the vodka swigging crowd it was enough to get you fully involved in the race. What a sight, there must have been at least 100 riders in the race with the last few horse barley been able to run the last few 100 meters due to exhaustion (time for the glue factor me thinks). Well, I guess they had been running for 30 plus km so I’ll give them a break. The last part of the day was spent eating our dinner outside our bus in a dust storm, my sandwich was well, sandy…. sorry that was a bit of a poor dad joke. I have a great photo to show but you will have to wait until I’m out of china.

Next blog is the last part of Mongolia, what happens when Sam meets Stumpy the horse!

Emma from London reminded me of a female Shortman, loud bubbly and very funny.
Virgina from LA, I’ve decided that people from California are the nicest people in the US. I’ve met so many laid back people on my travels from there. How the world would be a different place if George Bush was from there.

We decided to organise a 5 day mini trip to central Mongolia so we could all be back in time for the Naadam festival.
A day later we met our very sweet guide Bolor and our driver Holor.
Day 1.
After about 60km west of UB the road turns in to tracks only fit for 4×4. Of courses this doesn’t stop the average Mongolian from driving a normal two wheel drive car crammed full of people and luggage down them. The life expectancy of a car in Mongolia must be very short indeed.
After half a day getting a Mongolian massage by bumping and crashing around in the car we finally made it to Elsen tasarkhai national park where we were met by our host Nomadic family. Once inside the Ger the Mongolian tradition for greeting people is to sit down and sip tea made from which animal the family is herding, in this case it was goat. now the tea isn’t like your PG Tips, it has a salty earthy taste to it with a hint of goat shit in there as well. Saying this it was rather pleasant…… unlike the fresh curd which is rather bad, it looks like shortbread (which I thought it was at first) but tastes of sour milk. I couldn’t finish mine so I quietly slipped mine in to my pocket and disposed of it outside.

Now the place we were at is named the Mini Gobi, why? yep you guessed it, its a small desert. This also gave me a taste of my first sand storm, when the wind picks up over the dunes you can the sand cloud in the distance and then 30 seconds later, pow! it hits you like you have been rubbed by a giant piece of sand paper. At this point we made a hasty retreat in to our Ger. I was still picking sand out of my arse days later. After the sand storm had died down it was time for an explore of the area. No sooner had I been out for 10 minutes I was kidnapped by a bunch of camel herders which took me back to the Ger to pick up the rest of the group. It was such a laugh and not too uncomfortable riding around on the back of this beast….. unlike riding a horse which i did a few days later when we took a long drive to the another national park called Tsutgalan. It took such a long time to get there but it was well worth it. A valley surround by 1000 meter mountains and a small meandering river running down the middle of it. After dinner we were treated to a Mongolian throat singing concert from the cousin of the family we stayed with. It was interesting music to say the least as he played the traditional Mongolian harp and the horse fiddle whilst gurgling his throat in to all manner of sounds. It wouldn’t sound half out of place on a Bjork album.

The next day was the one I was dreading…… horse riding! Sam on a horse, it sounds the most ridicules thing in the world but it really did happen. My horse which I named Nobby seemed a bit frisky and didn’t want to cooperate with any of my commands….. not that I had a clue how to ‘drive’ the dam thing. I climbed on to Nobby and the rest of the group climbed on to their horses. We were off…… all in completely different directions as no one had a clue what to do. After our guide rounded us up we were off again to see the waterfall, i say waterfall but really it was more of a trickle as further up the river miners have dammed the river because Mongolia is experience a gold rush at the moment. Which is a great shame these money hungry companies are ripping up this beautiful land.

I must say being on a horse isn’t as half a scary as i thought it would be. I really enjoyed the 3 hours riding around so I’m hoping to do it again on another tour, i felt like a cowboy (Not one out of Broke Back Mountain, Kenney before you say it!).

After the horse riding I was chilling around my Ger when a Dutch guy came up to me started talking about my camera. It turns out he was a photographer take photos of Nomads for a book he has out in 2010. He had a bit of a major problem, his driver had been drunk for 3 days and was refusing to take him plus 3 others to Karakorum which was our next destination. Que……. the driver stumbling out of a Ger with a bottle vodka in his hand being chased around the camp by an angry dog which was getting more angrier ever time he throw something at it. If you could speed him up it would be like the end sketch in the Benny Hill show, it was a very funny thing to watch in a sad way.

The next day 11 of us squeeze in to our mini van. On the way it was great to talk geek with the photographer about cameras. Just to tease me he pulled out his Xpan which is a camera i really want, he also showed me some of his work which was very beautiful. He had been to Russia to meet the Reindeer People and Kazakhstan to photograph the Eagle hunters who i would love to meet one day.

We made it to Karakorum which is Mongolians old capital before Stalin and his boys moved it to UB. The city (village) is made up of the only surviving original Buddhist temple (all the others got burnt down by the Communist Regine) which is surrounded by wooden houses which gives it a South African township feel to the place. The Mongolian people want to move the capital back to Karakorum but realistically I doubt it will ever happen.
The last couple of days was spent at Hustai national park which is 45km outside UB. We were taken here to view the Taki horse. This is the Mongolian wild horse which in the 1900s was nearly extincted due to the Kazak people hunting them for there meat (those crazy Borat people will eat just about anything). There were just 15 left in the world in the 1970s but now they have got the numbers up to well over 400. To me they look like a horse with stubbier stripey legs. Our guide told us they are very different to a regular horse but i have forgotten why. Something about its skin changes colour in the winter, but I’m not sure I’ve could have made that up in my twisted mind. It sounds like black magic if it does happen.

So being in Mongolia you can’t help but try the local food, with my new catch phase ‘Yeah, well……….. it’s alright’ which i would say after trying something new. So here is a list of animal and parts I’ve eaten so far. Vegetarians stop reading now.

HORSE
Meat – very nice indeed, tastes like beef
Tea with horse milk – very salty, very earthy
Arake (fermented horse milk) – alcoholic (5%) has a acidic taste to it. Not very pleasant

GOAT
Pretty much every part i have eaten now including Stomach, Neck, liver, penis (no balls, the family had eaten them already)

MARMOT
The small beaver type creature taste great, it has a real gamy taste to it. Yum!

SHEEP
A sheep is a sheep where ever you are in the world. Very generic!

YAK
Meat, was pretty good. Again tastes like beef
Yak Cream, This was the most amazing thing i have tried. Slap this rich and very thick cream on top of some freshly cooked homemade bread, topped with wild mini strawberries and you have one of the worlds best sandwiches. 9 out of 10.

Next stop, the Naadam festival. See you there.