Again the hostel was great, it had no tv, no music no Internet just panoramic views of the Drakensberg and a big log fire which was the centre piece in the common room. It was bitterly cold in the night and it was great to sit around warm the toes and chew the fat with the other travellers. Oh yes the travellers, we met some rather random people there. There were two German that have travel ed overland from Europe to South Africa. One of these guys had been travelling for 4 years and he looked crazy with his Sideshow Bob hair cut and Billy Connolly beard. He had some great stories to tell us, my favourite being the one where he had over stayed his VISA in some random Africa country and instead of throwing him in jail they fine him and cut of his dreadlocks hence why he now looks like Sideshow Bob.

The 1st day we were there we took a tour up the Sani Pass as we were told the Slug wouldn’t make it up the ‘road’. We met our tour guide called Michael and he was such a great guide. He told us pretty much everything about the area, from flowers to tracking animals. He was a bit like a South African Ray Mears. We started the drive up the pass which 1st takes you to SA boarder control (which is really a hut) it only seems to be there for the novelty value, but im sure they have very important job to do!

I’m so glad we didn’t attempt it in the Slug as the road was very tough. We were getting shaken around in the Land Rover so god knows what it would be like in Slug. The road track was snaking around and just going up and up until we hit snow, yep more snow. 2843 meters up and you reach Lesotho and the highest pub in Africa called the Sani Pass Lodge. We had to stop off here and have a drink and some amazing homemade bread (I love Bread). The view was incredible looking back down the pass in to SA. Lesotho couldn’t be more different than all the parts of SA we had visited so far.

Thick snow covered the empty Plato with only a few loan teenage farmers wondering around attending to their flock of sheep.

Highest Pub in Africa….. didn’t sell absinth, oh well

During the night everyone at the hostel was up for drinking games. It was just like the Olympics with USA, Dutch, South African and German all competing for the international drinking title of the year. The game was ping pang pong, I would explain the rules but hadn’t got a clue what was going on. Anyway just like the Olympics the UK came last and I had a hangover.

We decided to stay another night so we could do some hiking in the National Park where there was a great 12km walk taking us along the side of one of the many mountain rivers.

Ellie thought it would be a great idea to fall in one of the rivers, Aww poor Ellie. But I was a true gentleman and just laughed at her for about 5 minutes.

The last couple of days were spent back in Pretoria just chilling out and spending as much time with Ellie before I left for the next leg of the Journey. I was so sad to leave Ellie and SA. I had just the best time with her, Ellie was a great travelling companion she will be meeting me in China now.

So my hot list in SA follows.
1. Shark diving
2. Kurger Park
3. Bread from Spar
4. Grape Fanta
5. Baboons and Monkeys
6. Nestle Mint Crisp
7. Coffee Bay
8. Island Vibe Backpackers in Jefferys Bays
9. Sani Pass & Drakenburg
10. Cape Town
11. The Blue Slug
Next stop Riga, see you there

UPDATE, here are the photos, sorry I’ve been a bit slow with updating the next part of the blog, Russia has been a busy time and I can’t find a cafe with USB connection. I’ll sort it out soon.

We took the longer way to Cape Town following the coast road all the way. This took us around False Bay passed the infamous Cape Flats which is the biggest Township in the Cape area and where most people in the Cape area live, its a complete contrast to the rich east side of Cape Town. I wonder if the authorities will try and push them to one side or something when the World Cup circus comes to town. Saying that, township are big business now in South Africa, What once the unthinkable you can now go on day tours and backpackers are springing up all over the townships. You can even do a home stay with a local family.

Past the Cape Flats is Simons Town where we stopped to check out the ickle African Penguins (They are so amusing to watch but stink so bad).

We carried on driving along the coast and yet more spectacular mountains and cliffs passed by us by, from there we drove over to the East Side of the Cape where we stopped on the surfers beach of Kommetjie so Ellie could do a bit of tanning, which was lucky as it was the last time we saw the blue sky for the next few days. From there we drove around to Chapmans Peak which is rated as on of the most thrilling coast roads of the world, I can bloody see why! The road clings to the side of the cliff and twists and turns its way to Hout Bay.

I know Ellie enjoyed the drive as she was throwing the Slug in to the corners like a Formula 1 racing car!
Once we passed Hout Bay I saw one of the landscapes I have always wanted to see. The 12 Apostles!

And they really didn’t disappoint, what a fabulous mountain range that stretches all the way to Cape Town and then becomes part of Table Mountain. Cape Town surely has to be one of the most beautiful cities in the world. It makes me wish that Ken Livingstone would scrap the 2012 Olympic games and instead use the money to build a mountain in its place, we could even keep the furnisher theme going, how about calling it chair mountain or even Ikea Bed Mountain. Its not like anyone would miss Stratford anyway.
The main thing we wanted to do in Cape Town was to climb Table Mountain but the weather was not kind to us for the four days we were there. All around Cape Town the weather was fine, but as soon as you get close to Table Mountain a blanket of clouds (known as the Table Cloth) came in making it impossible to climb. So we opted for the hike Lions Head which is opposite Table Mountain and over looks Cape Town, The hike is only 676 meters high and its a pretty easy hike until the last section which was a bit of a killer on the old legs. This didn’t stop Cape Towns elite fitness fanaticises running up and down it ever day.

The next day we went to explore the shopping area of Long Street and the Water Front which is great for eating as well as shopping. (curry watch@the jewel of India) I had a rather juicy curry but we ordered far to much. I can report the Nan bread was shit hot.

The day after we went to the Cape of Good Hope National Park which is the most south easterly place in Africa. We found ourselves in what can be only described as a strange dream world where naughty baboons are trying to steal food and pissing on the top of cars. Herds of Japanese tourists armed with the latest camera gear taking it in turn to photograph each other next to every bloody sign saying ‘The most south easterly….. Point….. Lighthouse…… shop……etc, etc’ you get the idea! Still the scenery was very nice and it was good to take a few photos….. not of ‘The most south easterly….. Point….. Lighthouse…… shop…..etc etc’….. well ok, just one photo!

The next day we took a tour around Robben Island. If you didn’t know this is where Mandela was imprisons as a political prisoner. The only way to Robben Island is to catch the ferry so Ellie and I (plus 100 Japanese tourists) were waiting for the ferry to leave Cape town harbour. When out of flipping nowhere a huge Hump Back Whale popped its tail out of the water and swam around the ferry before finding its way out of the harbour, who needs to spend £100 on a whale tour when they come to you? Its not even the start of the whale season till next month.

Ellie has also invented a new game called the Jennifer ‘Sock Nose’ Elworthy game. The aim of the game is to spot people who look like our friend Jen. So far we have spotted 3 look a likes.
1. The Girl sitting behind us in the curry house (I must say she really looked like you Jen)
2. The Girl on the front cover of this months Africa surf Magazine (Another good spot, we saved you the magazine Jen)
3. Ellie thinks Jen also looks like a white Tyra Banks (I can’t see this one at all)

Whilst in Cape Town I made good use of the pro photo lab and had all my films developed. I must say I have some crackers but you will have to wait till next year to see them.

After trying to get up Table Mountain for the last 4 days we gave up and started our long way back up the coast taking Route 62 that happens to be the longest wine route in the world. On the way we stopped off at the infamous Ronnies Sex Shop (thanks for the tip Lee) which isn’t a sex shop at all, its a bar in the middle of nowhere and I really do mean in the middle of nowhere.

It used to be called Ronnies Bar but after his mate painted on the word ‘sex’ on the sign people started to visit his shop. This shows that sex really does sell! After a rather amusing chat with Ronny about Russia we were on our way again to the ostrich capital of the world Oudtshoorn. It was just as a quick stop before we headed further up to coast so we didn’t see much of the town or the Ostriches for that matter.

The next day was the long drive (10 hours) to the beach village Cintsa. On the way we were hoping to drive over the Swartberg Pass which is rated as the best mountain pass in SA, climbing to just over l600 meters and 24km long we just had to take a look. But it wouldn’t be a random trip without something random happening, SNOW, bloody SNOW had shut off the road. I mean really, have you ever heard such a silly thing as snow in Africa? Its the most snow SA has seen since the 1990s. Global warming my arse! Still it was nice to see the snow capped mountains.

The backpackers in Cintsa was yet another fab one. Our cottage, yes cottage (£23) overlooked the lagoon and the white powdered beach. We only stopped here for one night which was a great shame because it was such an amazing beach and village. It was just enough time to recharge the batteries (ours, not the Slugs) as we had to carry on in to the heart of Zulu Land so we could tame the Dragons! see you next time. Sam & Ellie.

Now where was I? Oh yes, so after a long drive we hit the most southern tip of Africa ‘Cape Agulhas’. It is where the Atlantic meets the Indian Ocean. (I’m sure Dad can give us a few facts on it)

Comedy Cocking in South Africa

Cape Agulhas had some wonderful Art Deco building which I loved but Ellie hated, at this point she pointed out a house she liked that can only be describe as a 3 story Fred Flintstone house, that in my eyes was rather disgusting. I think she was pulling my leg….. Well I hope she was! *Stu, I didn’t know that SA was such a hot bed for Architects, get a job here and make some communist style blocks of flats*

Our final stop for the day and our base for the next couple of nights was the fishing town of Hermanus.

Hermanus has the look and feel of a Cornish fishing town but it has one dark secret that has put it firmly on the world map. Its home to the breaching Great White Shark. This is the only place in the world where the Great White has learnt a clever trick of catching its favorite meal, Cape Seal (I’m not talking about the one hit wonder Seal, though feeding him to the sharks wouldn’t be such a bad thing). The Great White swims so fast and hits the poor seal so hard the shark can breach the water and catch the seal in its huge gob, you have probably all seen this on the BBCs Planet Earth.

We had 1/2 a day to kill once we got to Hermanus so we went out to a very posh seafood and Sushi restaurant by the harbor, Ellie being the glamour puss she is fitted in no problem but I wondered in to the place wearing flip flops, my green Hustler t-shirt and my combat shorts. I must say I did get some funny looks from the staff. As we are in SA everything is so flipping cheap. A 3 course meal at this restaurant only came to £24 and as we are in wine country a bottle cost under £3. Flipping bargain.

The next day we headed down to the harbor for a spot of shark watching. The weather turned a bit nasty and there was rather large swell but that didn’t stop us from going out to see the sharks. We met the other 12 people who going out with us. We some annoying french people with us which I thought would be great to use as bait for the sharks, unfortunately this wasn’t the case. Our diving master was a bit of a mad bastard as well, he is famous for his diving with the Great White without a cage. Some of the photos of him and the sharks are world famous and you would have seen the last year in the UK papers. He also likes to kiss them on the nose.

So we set for seal Island which about 3 miles from the mainland. It doesn’t take long for us to get there in our converted fishing boat with twin 200hp engine bolted on the back of it. Bouncing over the massive waves was great fun for Ellie and I but you could see some people were starting to go green. We got suited up in the wet suits and at this point I spot one of the French guys choice of swimming costume. A nice blue and PINK Speedo! very fetching indeed, I think Ellie is hoping I get one some day.
Once the crew had sorted out the cage they started to chum (bait) with old pieces of rotting tuna and other fish guts. Its only minutes until the sharks started circling the boat, the 1st time you see these big fish you realise they are nothing like how the press and media portray them and that they are very graceful creatures. Saying that you wouldn’t get me swimming with them without a cage.
Once you get in the cage the dive master watches out for the sharks from the boat and tells you when to hold your breath and go underwater.

The 1st shark I saw underwater swam straight passed the cage, it was jaw dropping seeing this massive killer only a few feet away from me and then just disappear in to the murky depths of the Atlantic. I think at this point I dropped a log in my wet suit!

We must have seen a few different sharks the biggest one being about 3.5 meters long (looks much bigger underwater). A bit later one of shark took the bait and started to wrestle with it sending its tail (do fish have tails?) crashing in to the cage, very scary.

After our time in the cage we headed back to the mainland, I mustn’t laugh but Ellie and I did have a bit of a giggle when loads of our group started getting sea sick. I will never get the picture out of my head of all those people bending over the side of the boat chucking up all the way back to the mainland. I wonder if the sharks enjoyed the taste of mashed up carrots and peanuts. ‘YUCK SAM’ Oh dear I’ve gone to far again.

AWARDS OF THE DAY
Twat of the day
Has to go to Speedo French guy for sticking his arm out of the cage to take a photo of the shark ever time one got close. Those sharks can move lightning fast and could have easily bitten his arm clean off. Twat!

I’ve Got Big Balls Award
Goes to the blind American who dived with us. If it wasn’t scary enough seeing the shark crash in to the cage just imagine what it must feel like to not knowing what the hell is going on and just feeling it. big respect! though I was tempted to shout out ‘The cage has a massive hole in it’ and see what he would have done. Oh I’m going to hell now!

The hostel we stayed at called Island Vibe might as well have been a 5star hotel it was so nice. Our room cost about £20 per night and for that we got a double en suit with balcony overlooking the beach. you could step out of the door and straight on to the beach. It had a wicked bar which had The Cure ‘Greatest Hits’ playing all night so I was a very happy Sam.
*Matty Ginger you would love it here*

Island Vibe

Next day we headed to the Garden Route. For the people who don’t know what the Garden Route is, its a scenic coastal highway (I quote) miles upon miles of sandy beaches, old pine forests, Mountains and gorges. Now this is the only part of SA I’ve been disappointed with. All I saw was millionaire mansion, tree plantations with most of the trees cut down, big industry towns and load of traffic. It wasn’t really what I was hoping for. Not all was lost, we ended up at a rather cool hostel at a place called Buffalo Bay. Again It was right on a beach, you could see over the years it has taken a right battering from the sea and wind as everything was so rusty and fallen apart on the outside, inside was a different thing altogether and was rather homely with a big log fire the centre of the room. The beach was 20km long and not a soul in sight. So for the rest of the day we walked along it watching the massive surf roll in and trying to spot whales only to find out that its not whale season till November, DOH. It was such a nice way to finish the day after the disappointment of the Garden Route.
Just to add, As it was pay day we went out for a meal in the local town to celebrate my last pay packet for a year. I thought I would try something different so I opted for Crocodile steak and I can report It tastes like salty chewy chicken and was rather pleasant.

On the way back to the hostel we stopped to check out the stars, in my life i’ve never seen so many, you could see the milky way so clearly. I would of stayed out for much longer to watch them if it wasn’t so dam cold…… It was cosmic……. man!

The hike took us right along the coast, up and down cliffs, on beaches and through the surf. One of the highlights of the hike (was not dying from heat) was seeing a massive pod of dolphins playing in the surf. I could have watched them for hours, such beautiful creatures. Something else also caught my eye when I was wondering along on the hike ………. White Dog Poo!
Remember in the 80s you used to get it everywhere in the UK and then like overnight it just seem to disappear, well I can confirm you still get it in South Africa. Does anyone know why we don’t get it in the uk anymore? maybe its another question for 82ASK.

So in the night at the coffee shack I got to chew the fat over dinner with my fellow backpackers. We met a really nice guy from California called Rob who has been surfing his way around Southern Africa and couple who work in wait for it! He is a captain in the army based in Colchester and she works in Shepherds Bush as a teacher. How very random. Small world or what?
I have noticed a pattern when It comes to backpackers music tastes…… everyone likes the same bloody bands. Where ever you are from, what religion you follow or the colour of your skin a backpacker must like the following middle of the road pants.

GOO GOO DOLLS (especially the song ‘Iris’),
Anything by the COUNTING CROWS or REM.
KINGS OF LEON (but only the 1st album)

When It came to them asking me what I listened too I may as well have been talking In Mongolian. Not one person around the table knew who The Gossip are! shame.

Lee, Stu and Kenney i’ve been on MODE watch and I can confirm at at about 6pm on the 13th of May I heard ‘Personal Jesus’ at the Coffee Bar, South Africa. I will carry on the quest around the world.

We are now in Jefferys Bay at another Backpackers called Island Vibe. It might as well be a 5 star hotel but more about that in my next blog, We are off to the world famous ‘Super Tubes’ again you will have to wait to find out what the hell im going on about.

The next couple of days were spent at the sleepy backpacker town of St Lucia. We found a great backpackers on the main street which had a great outside bar with a communal BBQ area. This was my 1st taste of a backpackers. I must say I really enjoyed it…… but you all know how much of a music snob I am, Well.. the music we listened too could be off anyone’s iPod as they plugged them in to the bars speaker system. I must say, I’m sorry to all the Americans reading this but your country has been let down badly. I mean really, who wants to listen to country music followed by Scooter (shit euro trance) and then to top it off Michael Bolton! Anyway it wasn’t long till that iPod came off and mine went on.
St. Lucia is on a World Heritage Site so there was plenty of wildlife wondering around, cheeky monkeys trying to steal your food from the BBQ, Crocodiles in the lake and even a Hippo walking down the main street. It really is like walking in to the Umbongo commercial (Does anyone remember the lyrics?).

So things had been going so well up till now but then I had a run of bad luck.

1st my bank put a hold on my debt card so I couldn’t get any money out over the weekend as they thought my card had been cloned. Thanks Barclays. Don’t worry mum it’s all sorted now.

2nd my iPod crashed and wouldn’t reset (Not a major problem, but It meant we had to listen to Michael Bolton again)

3rd I broke my new 35mm Leica lens (sob sob) £600 down the drain. Im trying to get it fixed but so far no luck as it will take them 5 weeks to fix. I might have to send it back to the uk. bloody thing. I’m not happy.

We drove down the south coast of Durban which has some of the best waves for surfing in the country and I can see why, these are big boy waves, not like the girlie waves we get in Cornwall. There are loads of small surf towns on the south coast so we picked Scottsburg….. Not really what I would have called a crazy party town, in fact far from it. The town only has one hotel and let me put it this way we may as well have been staying in an old people’s home. That’s right, it is one of the hotels used by Saga Holiday, Not one person under 55 years old in the hotel. After the enthusiastic porter called Richmond took us to our room and show us how to use the telephone for 10 minutes we went off to get a bite to eat at a local restaurant. I was in luck, a curry house. Nothing to report on the curry, it was very generic but I was a tad upset that they didn’t serve it with any Nan bread, gutted.

After the generic curry we decided to go to the hotel bar, we knew no one would be in there as it was 8pm ‘entertainment time’ in the main lounge. What could be on offer tonight, a dance? a cover band? of course not, Its the oldies favorite game… inside bowls! We decided to pass on it and instead opt for the ‘Zulu Ladies bar’ where we slowly got more drunk with an old couple from Kent who basically moaned about ever part of there 3 week Saga holiday. Mind you I think I would moan if I spent £2000 on a holiday to find out that I was going spend it at a hotel where the reception smelt of wee.

Next day was spent in Margate, Its a lot like Clacton so there isn’t much to say about it except that the beach is better than the Clacton one, and has less chavs.

We are now on the Wild Coast at a small hippy village called Port St Johns. It’s a wonderful little village with a great market and really friendly locals. The hostel is great too; our room is a safari tent with a view over looking the sea and the jungle. This place does remind me a lot of Paul Welch’s farm; it has relaxing friendly vibe to it. Off to Coffee Bay tomorrow. Till then, im out of here.

Thinking you can fix a minor lens wobble and then dropping it on the floor as your hands are slippery from the grease, smashing the lens in to bits……..Priceless

I feel really sick and very silly, repeat after me ‘SAM YOU ARE NOT A CAMERA ENGINEER!’

As i’m in Africa, I thought I should have maybe have a benefit concert for my broken len. We could call it LENS AID, maybe even put a charity single out at Christmas time. What do you say? I’m sure we could get Sir Bob Geldeoff in on the action.

Here I am on the 29th April 2007, sitting in our tent writing my blog. On Friday morning we left the city of Pretoria to see the ‘real South Africa’, heading east towards the little bush town on the edge of the Kruger Park called Sabie. This would serve as our base to go sightseeing around Mpumalanga. About 50km out of Pretoria on the highway I got my real taste poverty. I saw my first Township, nothing really prepared for the size of these places and how these community’s live. Miles upon miles of shacks made out of odd bits tin and wood, open sewers washing the shit down on to the road and kids trying to flag cars down on highway. Driving passed, you notice how busy, bustling and colourful these places are, everyone seems to be busy getting on with their lifes.
I asked Ellie how bad things can get in these townships and she pointed to the signs warning drivers not to stop as its a ‘high jacking hot spot’.
I don’t think I’m ready to visit a township just yet and I don’t want to feel like a rubber necking tourist. Feeling like a naive white tourist who really doesn’t have a clue about the world, i sank back in to my seat and for the first time in a few days I was a quiet as a mouse.

Being in South Africa I couldn’t wait to see some wild animals, I wasn’t disappointed. On the way I saw herds upon herds of (Pause) cows, a few bulls and one horse. Amazing, just amazing….. Not even one dead zebra on the side of the road to tell you about. I’ve seen more animals on the side of the A12 from London to Colchester than I have in South Africa so far. I know, i know, I’m being unfair because this part of the country is farm land for 100s of miles, this all changes when we reached the province of Mpumalanga and their I saw my first wild African animals,  A family of monkeys. I was so excited I didn’t shut up for the next 15 minutes. I can’t wait till I see my first Lion…… I’m sure Ellie can’t wait for me to see them too. heehee.

Mpumalanga, what can I tell you about this part of SA. Driving the mountains roads that snake up and down the alpine valleys you would be shocked to think you’re not on the roads in Switzerland. We haven’t got too lost yet, thanks to my quite remarkable map reading skills (yes, im shocked too). The only time we got lost we ended up smack bang in the center of a township, Great, now I’m starting to shit it! Ellie on the other hand, who suddenly grown massive balls decided to asked a couple of dodgy looking guys for direction. Again, being the tough guy I am, I felt myself slowly sinking lower and lower in too my seat saying a little prayer under my breath. I know I’m a chicken but this is all new for me. Anyway it turned out to be fine and they sent us on our way.

I can’t tell you how beautiful this place Mpumalanga is , we climbed a cliff called ‘Gods Window’ which is 2200 meters high and at the top over looked the whole valley. Breathe taking panoramic views but a bit too touristy for my liking.

Just a quick note about the bread in South Africa. As you know ‘I love bread’ and I must say South Africa has got some of the best bread I have ever tasted. So the score card follows.
Taste 9
Presentation 7
Soft to the touch 8
Tastes good after 1 day 8

Right I better go; tomorrow we are doing a 5 hour hike before heading in to the Kruger National Park on Tuesday.

30th April
Another cold early start, who would have thought South Africa would get as cold as Iceland in the night. The temperature touches 0 degrees by midnight luckily I bought my arctic sleeping bag…… unlike Ellie with her £6 sleeping which looks like my old 1980s shell suit….. black and purple, Yum. I know what you are saying ‘Sam, surely you would have done the gentleman thing and given up your sleeping bag’ .. well no, are you mad, its bloody cold. I did give her my hat, hoodie and socks, Aren’t I nice!

So today we traveled around the Blyde River Canyon area. I must say the view is magnificent. You can check my tourist style photo on my Flickr. Sorry, they’re up to my normal photo but that’s all pocket digital cameras for, you will have to wait for arty photos. So we had been driving all day (Well I haven’t, bless Ellie, I hope she’s not getting to sick of it) and now we have ended up at the coolest campsite I have ever seen. It’s located at the bottom of the canyon very close to Blyde Lake, we love it here so much we are going to stay another night so we can do a few treks around the lake. As I write this blog I can hear monkeys in the trees and hippos by the lake, It really is paradise. It’s only 6pm and its already pitch black but that really matter as the stars are out and we are chilling listening to the sounds of the Bush… as I said, paradise.

Next stop, Kruger National Park,  I will tell you more about that in the next few days.