One year, ten countries and some mighty hangovers along the way.

Below are two slide shows from my Flickr photostream. If you are interested in buying any prints please drop me an email. sam[at]randomphotographer.co.uk

Prices
Choice of paper: Gloss or Pearl printed on a professional pigment ink printer.
A4 prints £20
A3 prints £35
Plus shipping fee.

Click here if you can’t see the slide shows

I have updated the blog over the past week, you will notice on the side bar a few new links to friends blogs and I have updated my Google Travel Map & Statistic. The page has info on the routes I have taken, points of interest and distance I have travelled in a year.
Its taken me a couple of weeks to collaborate all the data from my trip and I found it rather shocking at the number of miles i have travelled in a year. The link on the side bar ‘Google Travel Map & Statistic’.

If you have Google Earth you can download my map to your Earth and get updates sent straight to you. If you don’t have the new Google Earth I really do recommend downloading it, Google have really done a great job with the new release.

The map is not finished yet (Working progress) and will eventually have photos from my trip added to as well as links to the posts off my blog.

Links
Download Google Earth
Download my route for Google Earth. Recommend. Must have **Google Earth installed**
A video of a pretty model playing with a Leica M6…. Heaven, Sorry Jo Jo!!

So I thought it would be a fun idea to creative a soundtrack of the most played songs on my iPod for all of you to enjoy where ever you are reading this.

1. Postal Service – Clark Gable – Give Up
2. Beirut – Postcards for Italy – Gulag Orkestar
3. Sigur Ros – Saeglopur – Takk
4. CSS – Alala – Cansei de Ser Sexy
5. LCD Sound System – North American Scum – Sound of Silver
6. Bjork – Pagan Poetry – Vespertine
7. Air – All I Need – Moon Safari
8. The Long Blondes – Giddy Statospheres – Someone To Drive You Home
9. The Cure – Pictures Of You (Extended Mix) – Mixed Up
10. Howling Bells – Low Happening – The Howling Bells (Bella Union)
11. Erlend Oye – Like Gold – Unrest
12. Peter, Bjorn & John – Young Folks – Writers Block
13 Manu Chao – Bongo Bong – Clandestino

Ok, I know its all very hipster/Shoreditch aka Mr Stu. But I know what you are thinking “Sam where are the guilty pleasures?”.
Well, fear not my pop pickers (I can’t believe I sharing these with you). I’m not taking all the credit for these as they were drummed in to my head from the constant radio play in California.

I’m rather sad today as I had to say goodbye to a good friend, yes that’s right it was time to say goodbye to my amazing Leica 35mm lens. I didn’t want to sell it but i’m so skint something had to go. I’m sure he will go to a great home. To cheer myself up I treated myself and bought an Fujifilm Instax 100 off Ebay for a grand sum of £4.50. The camera looks like some kind of Fisherprice toy camera but I’ve heard its a little big gem in the instant/Polaroid world.

Nothing really has changed in a year at the Bee. Gossip still rules the building and the equipment is forever playing up and crashing. I’m looking forward to getting back in to the swing of things and earning some money (Ask me in a year if I’m still eager to get back work). Travelling for a year really has put a dent in the pocket. I now know for the next time to at least have a couple of grand spare when I come home

So what else has been happening, well I’ve moved to Acton Town with Guy and his missus Elle. The flat is wicked and there is plenty of room for my work space. I have now bought (higher purchase) a brand new iMac 24″. I must say in the few weeks I have had it I am very impressed with the new Leopard OS. I have also have bought the Nikon Cool Scan 5000 which scans photos with such depth and colour the image almost seems to be jumping out of the screen. But the downside is at nearly £800 its not cheap. I was deciding whether or not to throw my other computer away but I thought I would keep it and become a nerd (I didn’t need much help with that) and run Linux on it. I’m already running Windows on it but I thought it was about time to switch to Linux. After a few sleepless nights trying to find a distributor to suit me I finally settled with Ubuntu. If your looking for a real alternative to Windows then this may well be the one for you. I especially like the 3D GUI, it makes windows and dare i say Mac OS look like they are stuck in the 80s.

Ubuntu Linux

In other news, I have been away a few times this month as I was getting rather bored on Mersea Island. The first stop was Paris for a few days with Jodie. The main reason for going was to check out the Henri Cartier Bresson Foundation. But it was just our luck that it was closed to install a new exhibition. I shall go back to check it out in a few months as its so easy and fast to take the Eurostar to Paris now on the improved link from Kings Cross. The rails have been upgraded on the UK side so the train hits 180mph on both sides of the channel now so it only takes 2 1/2 hours to Paris.

We spent the days looking around the many galleries that line the river Seine. Of course we had to see the Mona Lisa. After fighting your way through the mobs of tourists carrying cameras and copies of the Da Vince Code you are presented with the painting which is behind bullet proof glass and watched over by cameras and guards. Its far smaller than I imagined it to be and dare I say a tad disappointing. Still, I reckon it gets far more attention than it deserves just because of the hype surrounding the Da Vinci code.
In the modern art gallery we went to have a look at an exhibition by a French artist who name I have forgotten had an exhibition of photos and sculptures made out of shit and cheese…. yes that’s right shit and cheese….. he made a head out of cheese! I managed to snap a photo off when the guard wasn’t looking. Basically what you are looking at is a wall with photographs of shit made in to letters and words. This is what I call art.

Mona under guard.

Shit Art?

Tunnel where Diana died

The last place I visited was Amsterdam to meet up with the Shortman for Queen’s Day. If you didn’t know, Queen’s Day is one massive piss up and street carnival to celebrate the Queens birthday (the Dutchies have got it so right). Its rather like a cross between Notting Hill Carnival and the Love Parade with hard house echoing throughout the streets and canals. Also, everyone dresses in the colour Orange and people set up stalls along the side of the road selling all manner of crap in some kind of city jumble sale. It was a rather messy day and I should think it took all week for the city athroitiys to clean up the mountain of rubbish left behind.
Shortman was on top form as normal and for one day only the Embassy Massive were reunited to woo the crowds by DJed at Shortmans local pub. Shortman with his classic rock and my funk set went down well and I think we did a pretty good job.
I also met up with the most wonderful Linda who I met in Mexico but I was so battered the night before I was rather quiet with her and her friends. Sorry about that!

Life in Essex. Nothing changes!

Nothing Changes with him as well

Little drunk are we guys?

You’ve Been Tangoed?

Shortman with his new bear, she looks good at blowing, Shortman.

Since i’ve been back I’ve also met up with a few friends that I made on the trip. Including a messy and wet weekend on the river with Katie, Caz and Dougie. A gay old time with Lisa, quick drinks with Anna and a wonderful week showing Katie and Juerie around London, Brighton and errrrr Mersea Island.

The next blog I should have some news for you about the exhibition so watch this space. I am also redesigning the website so look out for a brand new and improved site in the next few months. Also he is a little teaser from some of the photos I caught on film from the trip, Note these are very rough scans.

So that’s it for the meantime. No fun for me as I sit at work for 12 hours a day watching Jerry Springer and Dog the Bounty hunter, day dreaming about my next world trip…. well its not that bad, is it? At least I may get to see myself on Jerry.

I sit here in my old bedroom from my teenage days, no more Claudia Schiffer or Cindy Crawford posters on the wall, no Spectrum computer and no green shag carpet. I have over 3000 slides to sift through and plan the next part of this adventure which is to get this exhibition up and running before the end of the year.

This is most likely the final 2007/8 travel blog so I would like to thank everyone who has taken the effort to read/decipher my dribble. I know the grammar isn’t up to much and spelling is less to be desired but it really makes me feel like I’m doing some thing good when I look at my web statistics and see that over 3500 per month now tune in to the blog and from countries as far as way New Zealand, South Korea and even people in Russia are all logging on to find out the random tales I have to share with the world. I’m going to keep this blog as up to date as I can. I’m not sure what I will write on it or what it will contain in the future, I guess I’ll post up news and stories about my forthcoming trips and fingers crossed my exhibition.

This blog post is also to thank all the wonderful travellers I met along the way. Without you guys I don’t think I would have had half as much fun, eaten as many crazy things or learnt so much about our planet. Thank you to the backpackers of the world I met in 2007/2008.

Latvia
Mr Stu – UK – Guns, Vodka & Zane Lowe.

Russia
George & Patrick – UK
David Brent Security Guards and raves.

Fiona – OZ
I’m glad we kept in touch, i’m sure our paths will cross again, at least I have you on MSN. Glad the tooth is fixed

Theresa – Austria
Vodka, Strawberry Juice and sunsets over Lake Baikal. Just pure heaven.

Mongolia
Emma – UK
Run over by a hippo?? You made me laugh so much a little bit of wee came out now and then.

Richard & Mel – UK/Canada
The laughing and sneezing couple, loved them dearly.

Virginia -USA
More on her later

Joanne – UK
Old Skool Raver with great travel stories to tell. I am the Indian Princess!

Louisa & Emma – UK
Love there stories of Olkhon Island, Russia.

China
Bryant – USA
The drink you like is the Grasshopper, it was a pleasure meeting and drinking with you, shame I couldn’t see you in the states. Next time mate, you’re a diamond.

Greg – USA/JAPAN
Drinking, Great Wall Trekking and eating scorpions can only be done with this guy in one day.

Elaine – USA
Thank you for getting in touch with Katie and a great night out in Beijing… Not that i remembered much.

Leäh – Hong Kong
Room mates in Beijing, wonderful listening to you play the Pipa…. i think that is what it is called.

Aison – Hong Kong
Thanks for showing me around your city. Fish Market was fun and rather odd.

Sandy, Wouter & Martin – Germany/Netherlands/UK
Guys, I’m gutted I couldn’t come on your overland adventure. See you soon though.

Scotland
James, Aka the Grub – Mersea Island aka the centre of the Universe
If we go to Iceland, bring more than fucking Custard Creams this time. Had a great time and you managed to get me back to my normal random self. Cheers Mate.

USA
Katie – USA
Thanks for showing me around your amazing city. I had more than a blast with you. Who would have thought i would have made such a great friend on this trip.

Jamie – USA
Cheers for letting me crash at yours and getting me hooked on Wii, its more addictive than crack!

Teddy – USA
Cantaloupe. Enough said.

Juerie – USA
I love the wellies and the ninja kick on my leg.

Ange – OZ
Jerry Springer and getting kidnapped by old Americas… all in one day, just brilliant.

Clare & Maya – USA
Six hours with you girls was enough to make me want to come back to Chicago and party with you more.

Andi & Alex – USA
Thank you so much for your hospitably and wine tasting. 29oz steak, how do you do it Andi?

Colm – Ireland
2 words, Jägermeister & Wigs. Never a good combination!

Esther -OZ
Stay off the 80 cent drinks, i’m not always going to be there to hold you hair back. I wish, I wish I spent more time with you.

Lee – UK
“I’m coming for you Britney!” A road trip like no other, you are the man!

Virginia – USA
A wonderful and beautiful roller-skating squirrel (Without the roller-skates) makes V the most amazing backpacker i have ever met.

Anna – Sweden
Glad the leg is better, see you in London.

Don – UK
Fancy going gopher shooting Don?

Mum & Dad – Mersea Island
Thanks for the Helicopter trip, where is the next stop mum? Machu Picchu?

Matty & Kealy – UK
Living the American Dream, Nothing beats a road trip…… and a Peter Griffin lookalike.

Mexico
Cathy – OZ
Thanks for all the info on Cuba, hope you had a good time in South America, shit I must email you back.

Ying – China/USA
I’m glad Chris and I dragged you away from the internet for one night of drinking.

Chris – Canada
Top fella, many great nights out on the lash with him, though i will never look at Kahlúa in the same way again. I really had a blast with you mate.

Nova – Canada
Magical Nova cast a spell on me in the short time I spent with her. I’m sure if you follow a rainbow you will get to her.

Annelise Katie & Caz – UK
Cocks, Cocks Cocks, Drugs, Drugs Drugs.

Dougie & Jesse – UK/USA
Top guys causing havoc on the Island of Women. Great to meet up with you again Dougie.

Dave – Ireland
Have you found Blow Job Taylor yet?

Jodie – UK
Miss Provocateur does Holbox, i’m glad we met up again :-) x

Linda & Toby – Netherlands/UK
Its true…. you really can fuck a fish…. but no, you can’t smoke a cat.

Matthijs & Maurits – Netherlands
Like a married couple on holiday, very funny watching you guys rip the shit out of each other. shame i couldn’t make it to spring break 2008

Alice
Vodka & Camden, a perfect drinking partner. See you when you get back.

Belize
Tristan – OZ
Sorry for crashing your date…. you could have told me!

Guatemala
Mike – USA
Men & Women around Lake Atitlan will be whispering the story about LSD and Down Syndrome kids for years to come.

Chris & Monica – USA
Monica, wake him up for god sake, he is missing everything! Lovely to meet you guys.

David & Sahar – OZ
Took to Comedy Cocking like a fish out of water, great hanging with you guys. I hope the Cockney accent is working for you now.

Ryan & Sydney – Canada
Lets face it, I look better in a dress than you Ryan. I had so much fun with you guys. Lets do it all over again some time…. in the dresses.

Anneli – UK
Sounds like the bad luck has passed and that your trip is now going well. I Hope to see you for more random banter soon.

Lisa – UK
Lisa, my little sister. Sorry about being sick all over the room after that messy night, lets face it, you loved it. See you down at the Defectors soon.

Joy/Maria/Thea – Denmark
I was only moody in Belize because I was ill. Still we had a great laugh on your final night in San Pedro.

Marianne –
Girl, go and brush your shoulders off.

Helen – NZ
Helen and Van Der Beek kissing in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Lilly & Emily – USA
Lilly, Your shoes seem to be the big thing this summer in London. And I’m not joking, they are everywhere.

Ditte & Chris – Denmark
I let you win. enough said… Cow 1 with 31 spots calls…..

I’m sure I’ve missed plenty of people off this list and if I have i’m sorry if I have.

I’m now back in London and have already bumped in to a few of you since i’ve been back. I will also try and see as many of you this year as I can over this year so we can talk utter crap over a pint or two and talk about the good old times when work wasn’t an issue.

Drop me a line or two in comments box.

S

I think I’m going to need some time adjusting to this weather, after spending 3 months in Central America I think my body suddenly had a shock to the cold damp air as I stepped out of the airport terminal, I was back standing in the very spot I stood waiting for the bus to take me over the bridge to Manhattan. It felt a little bit surreal that I was back here but this time I felt far happier than the time before.
I kept trying not to think about this being my last stop on this epic trip or the fact I was running out of money, I just wanted 4 days of fun in the city.
Weather aside New York for me is the best city in the world, I love it. You can almost feel the electric atmosphere of the city running through your body once you get to Manhattan. Don’t get me wrong I still love London but this is the only other place in the world I could see myself living.
Jamie who I met 6 months ago through Katie had very kindly let me crash at his family home, it was great seeing both of them again and that night we chewed the fat and caught up over the next few hours.

My time in NYC wasn’t really doing much in the way of tourist stuff as I had seen many of the sights before. I was there to hang out with my friends and shop! The best thing I bought was a glow in the dark Ouija board from Toys R Us. I was a little worried that British Customs might take it off me if they stopped and searched me.
Guy, this will be the centre piece in the flat. We can have witchcraft nights, maybe even sacrifices some animals.
After a few nights out meeting Jamie’s & Katie’s friends again, watching bands, going to gay bars, eating, going to museums and playing Wii for hours it was time to say goodbye to the bright lights of Manhattan, Katie and Jamie and hop on Air India Flight 112 back to London.

The flight went well as there were only a hand full of people on the plane so I could stretch out and go to sleep only to be woken up 5 and half hours later when I touched down to a grey cold spring morning at Heathrow international. This is where my trip ends and my story finishes. I make my way across London listening to the woman’s voice on the Piccadilly line announce that this train terminates at COCKfosters which still makes me chuckle inside. I find myself moaning about how much a train ticket costs to Colchester and how moody the commuters are. Nothing changes in London, even in a year.
I board the 9:30 train to Norwich and find a empty seat and make my self at home for the next hour. I take out my copy of Metro, start eating my Gingsters Spicy Chicken Slice and slap on my iPod, listening to the song of my trip: Sigur Ros – Saeglopur. The train pulls out of the city and in 56 minutes time I will be at my final stop of my journey, where it all began. Colchester.

I am Random………….. I am home.

We get to our hostel at 10pm and they are fully booked up for the night. Arse, so the hostel suggested another hostel around the corner. Helen and I were both to tired to look for something else so we ended up there. I will say it was possibly the worse hostel I have stayed at. It wasn’t dirty but just a room with a few bunks and a toilet in the corner that was screened off by a bad wooden box DIY job. It was so bad the door couldn’t open up all the way as it would bang in to the toilet and there was no roof on it so when anyone went to the shit it would stink the room out. Needless to say that we packed our bags early in the morning and left for the other hostel.

Oaxaca is a magnificent town surrounded by blue hazy mountains, the air is hot and dusty and the sunlight is so bright I found myself darting in to the shadows of the buildings to escape. Its a rather large town, more like a small city with lots going on everywhere you look. Plenty of restaurants bars and galleries to keep one amused for weeks. It is also home to some of the best food in Mexico. Delights to try are Chile Grasshoppers, Oaxaca Chocolate and Mole Sauce (Chocolate and chile). Helen and I thought we would have ago at making a little video of out fine dining experience. Enjoy!

The next day we decided to go and have a look around the outside of the city. We headed over to Santa Maria del Tule to see one of the worlds oldest and largest trees. The tree dates back to over 2000 and the circumference is approximately 160 feet and it dwarfs the little church that is built next to it. A perfect comedy cock moment don’t you think?

After a bit of shopping, eating and drinking it was time to head on to my final destination of Mexico. The return to Mexico City, Another hellish 9 hour bus journey. it was 31 degrees outside and the windows didn’t open and the air conditioning didn’t work. It was so uncomfortable I couldn’t wait to get off the bus and enjoy the smoggy, dirty capital. The only thing that saved me from going completely mad was the was the view out of the window was forever changing. Canyons, mountains, huge volcanoes and the giant cartoon looking cactus line the side of the road. Mother Earth certainly shaped this part of Mexico over the years. The next time i come t Mexico, oh…. I will be back! One of the towns the bus stopped in was Puebla, it looked like a decent town for a launching pad to explore this region.

Making it to Mexico City we ended up back at Hostel Amigos where I stayed the last time, i knew the drill and I knew how much fun this place can get with all the partying that goes on. I warned Helen about the 80s throw back Chippendale that works behind the bar who took an instant shine to Helen using his smooth charms on her…. I don’t think she was very impressed. I know that he tries it on with every pretty girl that walks through the hostels door as the last time i was there he was on the lovely Nova’s case. The night ended in one massive party in the hostel with the 80s throwback pouring large amounts of Tequila in to our mouths whiles dancing around to Rage Against the Machine (I’m now having flashbacks of Christmas time).
The next day Helen and I were both feeling a little rough so we thought we would take it easy and head to the modern art museum. Again, another wonderful gallery of the world, this time loaded with the Mexican modern art movement which I’m not very familiar with. Still worth a visit if you ever are in Mexico City. Helen and I bought new Lucha Libre masks for presents for people back home and before we went out for my final dinner in Mexico we thought we would model them for everyone at the hostel. Thanks Helen for making my last two weeks in Mexico a memorable journey. I hope to see you again, stay safe.

That’s it people, my time in the unforgettable Mexico has come to a close. As from tomorrow I shall be flying back to New York for a spot of shopping and to drinking large amounts of Java Chip Frappuccino from Star Bucks before heading home. Mexico wasn’t even going to be a stop on my original itinerary but I’m glad that it was. I never thought of Mexico as a backpackers destination as all you here about is the resort of Cancun and how dangerous and drug fueled the country is. In reality, Mexico is so vast and interesting with such diverse culture with a landscape that is forever changing. An eye opener it was for me that a country so close to the worlds number one super power is still wrapped up in its ancient beliefs and practices. Mexicans are warm, friendly and know how to cook a decent meal. Will I come back to Mexico? Well does the Pope look like the Emperor from Star Wars? I think you know the answer to that.

The List for Mexico.
1. Copper Canyon – The last of the great rain rides of Mexico.
2. Beaches – From the picture postcard Caribbean to the wild unspoiled Pacific coast. Surely these must be some of the best beaches on our planet.
3. Food – No El Paso fajitas and crispy shell tacos. This is the real deal. My word it was my favourite place on this trip to eat.
4. Northern Mexico – Cowboys, cactuses and unspoiled. Its how I imagined Mexico to look like.
5. Lucha Libre – Any sport involving Midgets being thrown around and beaten up massive wrestlers is a sport worthy of watching.

I was meeting Helen in San Cristóbal de las Casas later on that day as she had gone with another shuttle service to there. Splashing out and catching a shuttle back in to Mexico sounded like a good idea as I didn’t fancy 9 hours on a chicken bus. The first few hours went by very smoothly and I had plenty of room to stretch out and make myself home in the very back of the shuttle. There was only a couple of French travellers and a Japanese guy in the van with me so for a change I didn’t have my legs rapped around my head. We left the Volcanoes of Xela behind us and travelled along the rather wonderful and magic mountain road to the boarder of Mexico. We pulled up to the small boarder town and got our exit stamp for Guatemala and headed over to the Mexican immigration and another waiting shuttle to take us the rest of the way to San Cristóbal. Being Guatemala and Mexico things don’t always go to plan and from this point on things were going to be a bit cramped inside the shuttle. Another group of about 12 people had also booked the shuttle so the 14 of us squeeze in to every inch of the small van. There was so little room I ended up being squashed in the back corner of the van next to a French hippy girl who I swear I saw in San Pedro, she was feeling car sick so I was praying that she could last the next 4 hours as I didn’t fancy being her next sick bag (I’ve already had two girls being sick on me on this trip if you remember). I also spied a jungle coming out of her arm pitt and when every she reached up to get her water bottle I had a birds eye view, at one point I swear I saw a couple of howler monkey’s trapped in there.

We stopped at the Mexican boarder to get our passports stamped, a spot of lunch and a toilet break. Now I’ve seen some terrible toilets on this trip but nothing, nothing prepared me for what I saw in the passport office that day. My word, on entering the toilet I was stepping over used toilet paper that scattered all over the place, after dodging them I was confronted by one of the worse sights I have ever seen. piles and piles of shit layered in the toilet bowl. There was so much crap it was was more like the Everest of shit, to this day I have no idea why or how people use this toilet as the shit was above the lid so there was no way you could sit down. I should have taken a photo but if i spent more than 30 seconds longer in the I could have fainted. I must say with all the different shades of poo it had a Jackson Pollock painting style to it. Anyway enough about shit and on with the story, I have no idea why i just told you that but these things need to be documented….. or warn other travellers who are thinking of entering the chamber of horrors. Not even the biggest adrenaline junkie could face that sight for more than a few seconds.

Back to the story, I arrive at the very splendid mountain town of San Cristóbal de las Casas just after 5pm, walking down the narrow cobbled streets to find the wonderful backpackers and the equally wonderful Helen who had been there all afternoon waiting for me to show up, which was rather odd as we left about the same time as her. We were also joined by a fellow traveller from Guatemala who goes by the name of Susan, I couldn’t really tell you how old she was, but she was older than she looked. A great girl who had some interesting stories and a great job which was sailing a millionaires yacht around the world. So as you can imagine she has been all over the place. She was going to join us on our little adventure tomorrow to find the Zapatistas.
San Cristóbal de las Casas stands at over 2770 meters so at night it gets rather cold and also to make matters worse it was raining during the night and my fears came true when I woke up it was also raining.

Still this didn’t dampen the mood and off we went to our first place of interest, A very small village which is about 10 minutes north of SCC. Now I told you in the end of my last blog that I heard about a group of indigenous people who burp out evil spirits by drinking coke. I didn’t know if this was true and some urban ‘travelers’ legend but what I saw on that rainy day confirmed that we really do live in one very interesting world.
Pulling up to the main square of the village there doesn’t seem to be any difference to other villages I’ve been to in Mexico. There is a small market in the centre of the square and a large white catholic church standing proud as the main attraction of the village. From the outside it looks like any other Spanish Church but it was holding a secret unlike all the other normal churches in central America I had been to. The Church predominately Catholic as they follow Christ and the Virgin but the have also incorporated some of their Mayan Beliefs in to the religion creating a very unconventional type of religion.
I was not allowed to take photos in the church or around the square as they are very shy people and get very upset if you pull a camera out at them so I don’t have many photos to show you.
On entering the church you are hit by the smell of burning juniper and freshly cut pine needles that cover the floor in a thick blanket. The church feels dark and is only lit up by thousands upon thousands of small thin candles that have been placed all over the floor amongst the pine needles (I’m not sure what health and safety would say about this fire hazard). Surrounding the church on top of plinths are large figures of Jesus and his crew looking down at the praying Mayan people who seem to be in a trance and constantly chanting whilst kneeing down next to bottles of coke and other fizzy sodas. We were luckily enough to witness some kind of blessing of a Mayan child. The mother who was clutching the child who was being blessed, father and a young boy all looked over the woman shaman who must have been over 80 years old. The service was going on for a while when we got there and was still going on when we left. I stood there for a while and observed the ritual from a distance.
The shaman started to chanting and again get in to some trance like state before blowing a small whistle on the infants head then she would light up candles and blow them out by spitting what I thought was water but later turned out to be rum. After a few minutes of doing this they brought a bound up chicken in to view. Again, more chanting and this time they started to wave the petrified chicken above the candles. At this point the young boy who couldn’t have been more than 8 years old stood up and broke the chickens neck. Then the who family (Including the child and young boy) took a shot of rum that the Shaman pours them. The young boys was priceless as scrunched up his face after downing the shot….. a lot like me when I have absinthe. After witnessing this very strange practice I was thinking to myself can this get any more random? Err yes it can, like i said earlier and in the last blog they drink fizzy drinks and then burp out evil spirits and that is exactly what i saw going on. The shaman would neck a bottle of cheap orange soda and then proceeded to burp. It was like being in Paul Mccartney’s frog chores.
Upon leaving the church we went shopping in the market where I bought a silly hat as it was raining and one of the best soverniers i have bought in a long time. Zapatista Guerilla dolls, with balaclava’s, backpack and a gun….. which lucky friend is going to end up with one of them?

Crazy church

Postcard of the burping

The Zapatista’s were our next target for the days fun. These bunch of armed guerillas lived in the forest around the villages and towns. They are lead by Emilio Zapata and have been known in the past to kidnapped tourists and hold up buses. They are fighting for there own independences and to break away from Mexico and run the state for themselves. More info on them here
So as we drive in the taxi further up the mountain roads through the mist we get to a very small mountain village where Helen was hoping to interview them, i’m not sure what we were really thinking about going after armed Guerillas, but what the hell you only live once. But it was no good, there was no one around in this village who could help, just a lot of men standing around starring at the blonde haired Helen and a drunk who latched on to me until we got another taxi back down to SCC.

Postcard of the Zapatista’s

The next day it was time to say goodbye to Susan as she was off to the Mayan city of Palenque and Helen and I were off to the beach that evening, the day was spent looking around the market and shops and drinking milkshakes and then it was time to say goodbye to a very interesting part of the world. We bordered the night bus to Puerto Escondidos which was 13 hours away on the Pacific Coast. Its known as the Mexico Pipe line and is the best place in the country for surfing. On the way there as normal Helen and I would talk a lot of crap to past the time away. With such great and i must say intellectual and stimulating conversations such as what would you rather loose, an arm or a leg? We also had a Hillary Duff movie dubbed in to Spanish, the movie was so bad I could understand everything which was happening in it. Why that girl hasn’t won an Oscar yet is anyone’s guess. As I said to Helen, Duff is now my favourite shit celebrate and for the rest of the journey i wouldn’t shut up about her. Feeling a little left out Helen wanted a shit celebrity to talk about, so for a hour or two I was trying to think of one for her and then it struck me………. James Van Der Beek out of Dawson’s Creek.

Bless them both

The bus ride was terrible as the road winds itself down from the highlands to the coast. Every minute the bus is turning left and then right slamming my head in to the side of the window of the bus. I must have only got 1 hours sleep before I woke gazing out of the window to set my eyes upon the biggest waves I have ever seen in my life crashing on the beach. It is one of the most dangerous beaches in the world with at least 5 people a month getting rescued. Rip Tides, under tows and 8 meter waves make this place far to dangerous to swim but if you have big enough balls then you can surf the pipe line which in the summer (rainy season) when waves can reach up to 12 meters high. The beach is lovely and not to built up, bars, cafe and small hotels line the strip so partying and drinking is the main thing to do in the night and really that’s all Helen I did for 3 days. We also got a group from the hostel to go dolphin and Sea turtle watching. We didn’t see and dolphins but our energetic guide jumped in to the ocean and the next minute he has a giant turtle on the boat. I’m not sure how legal this was but he put the turtle back after we took some photos. Shhh don’t tell anyone.

After 3 days of chilling and partying it was back on the bus for another 8 hours to my last town in Mexico, The state capital of Oaxaca.

See you then.

After a wonderful and memorable time at Lake Atitlan surely this high couldn’t last for long, Well it lasted about for about 2 hours after I let Pana and caught the bus to Xela. Xela is in the west and pretty close to the Mexican boarder. Its at a elevation of 2335 meters so its pretty high up in the clouds. The reason I have come to this town is the trek the highest point of Central America, the extinct volcano of Tajumulco standing at 4220 meters. The region has a change of Volcanoes stretching all the way to Atitlan and also has some of the most active and dangerous volcanoes in the world.

Riding the local bus I had to make a stop in the small town of Los Encuentros to change to a chicken bus that would take me to Xela. The whole ride should have taken me about 3 hours but instead it took the whole day as I feel asleep and woke up back in Antigua. 3 hours in the wrong direction. Now I enjoyed Antigua but I didn’t want to be back. I was only there for 45 minutes as I was there waiting for a shuttle taxi to take me to Guatemala City so I could catch the bus direct to Xela. In those 45 minutes I met three backpackers I knew and bought a band new spanking pair of Havaiana flip flops (the backpackers choice) as mine were falling apart. Feeling chuffed with my purchase I was on my way to Guatemala City. Once there I changed on to the bus and moments later I was on my way at last to Xela. Hang on, I”m missing something. I’ve have both of my bags but not my new flip flops, bloody hell i left them in the shuttle and now some Guatemalan is now walking the streets of Antigua wearing a brand spanking new pair of white Havaianas. Ok they only cost me $6 but still I’m not sure how long these ones on my feet will last.

I get to Xela at 10pm so in all I had been travelling for 13 hours today thats 10 hours extra it should have taken me to get here. I get to the hostel and crash out. The following day I book my trek up Tajumulco with a tour group so things are looking up today. I also spent the afternoon at some really cool hot springs in the mountains.

The wave of bad luck continues, retuning to the hostel in the evening my stomach started to feel bad. Really bad and for the rest of the night i’m sitting on the toilet praying for my poo to turn in back in to solids. I bet it was that chicken from the Saturday night BBQ. I go to the pharmacy and they give me some antibiotics to take for the next 5 days (You have to love not having to get a prescription from the doctor in Central America). Ok things are looking up again. So after two days of rest I’m feeling much better, so much so I’m ready to tackle the Volcano tomorrow (Saturday). We had a meeting on Friday night down at the trek office just to sort out equipment etc. I pack my bags and wonder off to the office to be confronted by “Sorry there is no trek tomorrow as its Semana Santa and there is no transport running. If you didn’t know Semana Santa is Easter or the Holy week and is a big deal over here. A week of marches and people dress up in what can only be described as ‘Purple Harry Potter or ku klux klan’ robes and hats whilst carrying huge coffins with Jesus in various poses on top of them. On the Friday after returning from the trekking office all pissed off I went down to the main square to watch the final precession which was the most interesting thing I have seen in a long time, the whole town must have come out for the night as the square was packed out with people holding candles. The costumes changed from purple to a morbid black, Jesus was now in glass cased coffin and was being blessed by a priest who I recognized from the church earlier on in the day having a cheeky Cigarette like a naughty school boy. The air was filled with incense and smoke and the machining bands kept playing all night and I thought to myself this is why I travel, to witness other cultures and try and learn something more about our planet. I’ve been blessed on this trip to see some of the worlds festivals. Naadam Festival in Mongolia, Independence day in Moscow, Semana Santa in Guatemala, The day of our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico and errr Halloween in LA.

So thats my time in Xela and my last stop in Guatemala, after a disappointing week it was saved by errrrr Jesus Christ (I never thought I would be saying that!). I randomly bumped in to my friend Helen who I met in Belize who is going the same way as me, another travelling buddy for the road. We are off to San Cristobal de Las Casa, Mexico. Home to villages of indigenous people who think that all tourists are Germans who have come to the village by following a rainbow and drink coke cola to burp out evil spirits. Lets hope I bump in to some of these people.

Guatemala has been one of my most memorable stops on this trip and I would say to anyone thinking of Central America make this your number one priority. The people, the history, the culture and everything about this place is just wonderful. I can’t stress how much i’ve enjoyed this country.

The List
1. Hostels in Guatemala are some of the best i’ve stayed at in the world.
2. Chicken Buses, blood, sweat and tears. You have to do at least one journey on them.
3. Tikal, far the best of all the Maya Cities I’ve visited. Shame about the sunrise though.
4. Volcanoes everywhere, landscapes and views that you can only see in your dreams. Enough said.
5. Best for last, Lake Atitlan. I will be dreaming about that lake for many years to come. Just breathtaking.

So let me introduce you to my merry band of men and women.
Chris and Monica, two old School Friends from Ohio. This was there first time backpacking and they had more toys and gadgets with them than Inspector Gadget. A friendly and helpful pair who were on a 6 month trip down to Brazil. Chris had the unique ability to always go to bed early. Never have I met a 20 something that like to sleep as much as him.

David and Sahar from Sydney. An energetic couple who had been in Peru working and were on there way back to OZ after travelling for a month around Central America. David was the first person I’ve spoken to in a while who had travelled the Tran-Siberian so we had a lot to talk about. I also Introduced them to Comedy Cocking around the world and I think it was a big hit, I’m sure they will be practicing down under.

Lisa from Shepherds Bush, the 22 year old with huge piercing blue eyes was not only fascinating but was such a laugh to hang out with. Studying to become a criminal barrister she was the smartest 22 year old I think I have ever met. She always seem to have an air of positivity around her and you couldn’t help but smile every time she talked. I knew I would get along with Lisa once she mention her local pub is the Defectors Weld. Lisa was on a 4 month tour of Central and South America and was heading to the lake to study Spanish in the small village of San Pedro. It was also great to speak to another Londoner about…. well what else but London!

Machete Mike, Named Machete now as he now carried one in his backpack. By the time we left San Pedro I think the whole town knew of his name. The guy is a utter legend in my books. I’m gutted that I didn’t get to say good bye to him but he had more pressing issues in asking girls back to his……… tent. Mike also told us one of the most disturbing and funniest stories I have heard in a long time. I’m not sure I should write about it as its such bad taste but I can’t stop myself.

Ok, the story goes that Mike met two Aussies in Belize on Caya Caulker, they got chatting about drug related stories and this Aussie pipes up about there friend who was meant to come on this trip with them.
So back in OZ the 3 of them were indulging in a night of taking LSD round one of their houses. After they all started tripping one of them starts to scream and is convinced that he can see the devil in front of him, at this point he gets up and grabs his friends car keys and speeds off in to the night. Later on that night the other two start to snap out of it as the LSD wears off and a few hours later their friend returns as white as a ghost.
“I’ve caught a monster” he says still shaking. “I have it in the trunk of the car”.
The other two look at each and burst out laughing. Still thinking their friend is on another planet they go and investigate. Opening the trunk of the car the are confronted by a duck taped box that is screaming and moving around. “See I told you, I caught a monster” The other two now looking a bit worried quickly cut open the box to reveal the so called monster. Inside they find no monster, just a very very confused child with…………… Down Syndrome.
How dark is that? The guy who caught the ‘monster’ is now serving three years behind bars for kidnapping.

“I fucking hate hippies” I utter as we are speeding to the hippie villages on the lake. San Marcos is known for its Californian hippies which settled there and set up healing shops, massage and veggie restaurants. The whole town is made up of tie dyed wearing jewelry making, dope smoking tarot card reading weirdoes. “I think I hate hippies more than i hate chavs” I tell Lisa as she is staring at me like death warmed up, her eyes are pointing to the girl next to me. Oh no, its a colourful skirt wearing hippie girl with a bag full of vegetables and fruit. We reach the dock at San Marcos and the girl and her b/f depart quietly and I’m feeling really bad about slagging off hippies. Unlike the group I was with who started to take the piss out of me “Nice one Sam, you know they have gone for hippie reinforcements” “They will be throwing flowers at the boat telling us to go back to our capitalise ways”. But the joke was on all of them as standing on the dock were a couple of hippies which they didn’t see and when the boat left the dock they gave us all the biggest glare. The fact that these hippies where both wearing iPods really made me think they were wannabes anyway.

We get to San Pedro and as soon as we are off the boat the guy from the tourist information who we named ‘Jim will fix it’ found us a hotel for $4 a night with lake views. Its the most bizarre tourist information I have ever come across as he could sort out anything. Spanish Schools, Hikes, kayaking and drugs…. yep the tourist information in San Pedro is the most random thing I have come across. Jim would pop his head around the door most mornings to make sure we were ok and to try to sell us tours and…… space cookies!
San Pedro feels a bit like a hippie version of Ibiza. Bars and clubs line the main street, banging techno clubs and small cafes. Its a bit tacky and really destroyed my imagine that I had built up in my mind about the lake 10 years ago.

The next morning I woke up to the sun shining and my first view of the lake. Again as I always say whenever i see something new, it truly is the most beautiful lake i have ever seen. The two gigantic volcanoes across the other side of the lake and with the volcano of San Pedro overshadowing the town, it really is the most magical place i have seen. This is how I remembered it from my magazine all those years ago.
Lisa and I decided to get out of San Pedro for the day and hire a Kayak. paddling across the clear blue water of the lake towards San Marcos I couldn’t help but smile, today I felt really alive and I was sitting in the middle of the most beautiful lake in world thinking about all the people i’ve met and the things I’ve seen on this trip. I guess out of all of the places I’ve visited on this trip Atitlan was one of those places I have wanted to see more than anywhere else. The only other place I wanted to visit and would never get to on this trip is Easter Island, Chile. But that will have to wait for another time as I don’t have the money or time to head down to South America. Maybe on my next trip when I drive around the world in Billy the Land Rover I shall head down there but thats at least 5/6 years off from now.

One person I couldn’t wait to see again was my good friend from Isla Mujeres, Annaliese who had been living in San Marcos with her new boyfriend Stu who is hoping to build a house on the lake. It was great to catch up with her and the evening was spent being a ‘Gringo’ and getting trashed at all the bars, it was great getting everyone out and meeting new travelers along the way.

One thing that does surprise me about the villages around the lake other than San Pedro is the Maya culture and way of life that is still practiced. Women and Men wear traditional dress, speak the Mayan dialects and still go by the Maya Calendar, which if you believe the world will end in 2012, so London might not get the Olympics after all. Its great to see this culture is still alive in parts of Central America as for what i could make out the Mayan way of life had seem to have disappeared from the Yucatan all together.

One cool and very exhausting thing we did do was climb San Pedro Volcano. Standing at 3000 meters its not to be taken lightly, also climbing on a empty stomach and hung over from the night before is not a wise thing to do. At 6am we set off from San Pedro and worked our way up to the start of the volcano, once in the park we were lead by our machete wilding guide and we started the accent. For some reason (Most likely cause I’m unfit) I was getting such bad headaches and felt so dizzy the higher I climbed. Still I pushed on and was at the back of the group most of the way. I’m glad I made it to the top as the view of Atitlan was spectacular. After about 1 hour at the top the afternoon clouds started to close in so it was time for the long desent back down in to the town of madness.

Madness it is, On the Friday night at Bar Alegre its the Long Island Ice Tea challenge which is basically if you drink 6 Long Island Ice Teas in 2 hours you get the 7th one free. Now, one wouldn’t have risen to the challenge but you also get your photo and name on the wall and I need to have my name in lights at the lake so I would always be remembered. And remembered I was, not that I remember much from the night except getting the owner of the bar to play Shed Seven ‘Disco Down’ over and over again on the jukebox. The next thing i remember was waking up in a pool of nachos…… ok, ok i was sleeping in a pool of my own vomit. I’m sorry to tell you this Mum and Dad but these things have to be documented especially if you ever go to the Alegre Pub and see a very drunk Sam on the wall of the pub. I came, I saw, I conquered San Pedro.

Saturday there was a small music festival by the lake at another village called Santiago, I was feeling to hung over to really enjoy myself but I felt like I was transported back to Woodstock or something as a field of hippies danced around to psychedelic music and children with fairy wings wondered the stoned audience handing out popcorn. The most odd thing was that the old 1970s London rock band Bad Company played, nice to see them doing as well as the Rolling Stones.

5 days in wacky land and it was time for some RnR over at one of the other towns around the lake. Santa Cruz was on the north side of the lake and a very small place indeed, most of the town was up the mountain 20 minutes walk away but the hostel was right on the lakes edge so it made for a great view every morning waking up to the two Volcanoes that stood proud over the lake. The days at the hostel were spent swimming in the lake, chilling out on the deck and drinking in the night. One thing to note about drinking with Lisa is don’t piss her of as one drunk Israeli guy discovered as he was being a twat and calling her all manner of names only to have a drink poured over him, you go Lisa! Don’t mess with a londoner, feel the wrath.
We were joined by a couple who we met in San Pedro who go by the name of Ryan and Sydney. A really cute couple from Canada who we hung out with for the remainder of my time at the lake, Ryan Sydney and Lisa gave up Spanish Classes in San Pedro as the school wasn’t much cop. Instead they would attend class at this hostel and I some how managed to be the Teachers babysitter. Still, give a child a Macbook a Camera and Teletubbies website and they will be happy for hours.

The group

Now the part you have all been waiting for, Saturday night at the hostel is cross dressing night. Quite simple, you dress up you’re entitled to cheap drinks all night. Lets face it we looked hot, I’m sure all the boys were checking Ryan and I out, i felt like fresh meat for the taking. I bet some of you girls wish you looked like us.

After a disappointing BBQ as the chicken wasn’t cooked properly we thought we better shoot some Tequila as its meant to settle stomachs so a Mexican told Chris in Mexico City. After quite a few shots it was time for the drag queen catwalk and the winner would walk back to the dorm with a bottle of wine. The boys/women take to the stage (tables) to the sounds of Madonna ‘Like a Virgin’ and the B52 ‘Love Shack’. I was shaking my junk and my lady humps all over the place and at the end of the contest who won? Yep you are looking at the number one drag queen on Lake Atitlan. I don’t know, maybe this is a new direction for me. All I will say is look out Soho, there is a new Queen on the town!

Marc, Ryan and Me

The Chicken

The girls take to the stage

Dancing on the table

Meet Judy the Gypsy Whore

So there we have it, was the lake how I imagined it all those years ago in the National Geographic? Well, the beauty of this lake is how I imagine it but I don’t remember seeing men dressing up as women and Long Island Tea championships, I guess times change but lets hope the lake doesn’t get spoilt by us or large hotel companies building huge monstrosities on the side of the lake and turning it in to some gringo playground like Cancun. For me Its one of the wonders of our planet.

To everyone I met on the lake, thank you for making it one of my favorite memories from this world trip so far. I hope I will catch up with you again for a drink….. but please not another Long Island Ice Tea.

Next stop will be my last stop of this unforgettable country… The mountain town of Xela and home to the highest point in Central America. The Tajumulco Volcano. Will I be able to climb it or has that chicken come back to haunt me…. find out in the next exciting blog from the Random Traveller……. I like leaving you on cliff hangers, its just like the TV show Lost…… or now I dress in women’s clothes it should be more like Desperate Housewife’s.